I’ve partially fallen into the Loyal Subjects hole. There’s something very unique about these super-stylized versions of familiar characters that inspires a certain aspect of my collector psychoses to dive in head first.
These are blind box, which to me is the worst possible vehicle for getting things into collector hands. I know there are people out there that really get off on the thrill of the hunt and the mystery and all that, and I will admit that moment of “who will I get?” Does have a certain charm, but it’s a charm that quickly wears away when you get your first duplicate at these prices. So I mainly went the easy route.
Initially, I decided I’d buy a single blind-box to see which Joe or Cobra I got. I added one box to my Pile of Loot. It was a test run. My first was Major Bludd. That’s cool. I like Major Bludd. Who doesn’t? Suckers, that’s who. I decided to add a second one to my next Pile of Loot. I decided I would keep adding one box to each Pile of Loot I had shipped.
My second time around I got Baroness, who was one of the three rare ones. I was a bit flummoxed at my luck. Flabbergasted, even, and I wasn’t even sure that was medically possible. I was fully expecting to somehow get another Major Bludd. I was two for two.
So I tried it again. Next up, I got Beach Head. My luck was holding, I had managed no duplicates so far. I was going to ride this gravy train all the way to the top, baby.
But then, a snag. Stock at BBTS was getting low. Like, really low. I ended up adding four boxes to my last order, which ended up cleaning out the rest of their stock. It was pure impulse, and I knew I had just boned myself. I was going to end up with four Beach Heads, I just knew it.
Upon arrival, I sat there, held them up, tried to figure out what was in what. One was fairly heavy, one was a little lighter, and two were lighter still. By now I had learned to gauge weight based on things like if they came with a helmet or the amount of weaponry. I was shaking boxes like it was Christmas morning trying to figure out what I had, like Schrodinger’s Joe figure or something.
I guessed the heaviest was Roadblock. Bingo! I was right. The others I had no way of knowing. I know I wanted a Firefly and a Snake Eyes, because I apparently have a fetish for masked men that know Kung Fu and Ninjitsu and all those other newfangled dance moves the kids are doing nowadays.
I opened up another box. Snake Eyes! I was kicking ass now. No duplicates.
I opened the next one. Wamp wamp. Another Snake Eyes. Now I was almost certain my final box would be either another Snake eyes or probably another Beach Head.
Nope: Firefly!
Okay, I can definitely see where this blind box thing can get the adrenaline throbbing in the veins, but I had already decided that I wasn’t going to take any more chances. That didn’t mean I was done though. Oh no, by now I was in too deep, I needed to finish off the easily affordable ones. The Crimson Guard and Cobra Sniper were 1/48 and 1/96 respectively, so those were going to be pricey, but having secured Baroness meant that the rest I would require were just the commons.
One trip to eBay and I ended up with the rest I needed: Copperhead, Cobra Officer, and Blowtorch.
…and Tri-Klops and Man-E-Faces, but those are MOTU and that’s an entirely different bag of crazy.
The Loyal Subjects figures are surprisingly faithful in the weirdest way possible. Standing a little over three inches, they are diminutive, with oversized heads and simplistic articulation that still manages to be very expressive due to the use of ball-joints. Each figure has:
Ball-jointed head
Ball-jointed shoulders
Bicep swivels
Swivel wrists
Ball-jointed waist
Ball-jointed hips
Single-jointed knees
Ball-jointed ankles
That’s a decent amount of articulation for something so small, and while it doesn’t mean that they can two-hand their weapons, they still have a certain personality behind their poseability. They have, to use the vaguest possible term of description, a certain sense of “cool” to them. If you were to grab one in a claw machine and something like Copperhead dropped into the dispenser, it would be cool as hell. It just costs a little more than a quarter, or whatever those things cost now. Do they exist anymore? When’s the last time I even saw a claw machine? Well, anyway, if they did and you grabbed a Blowtorch figure with that pesky, inscrutable claw, you’d immediately bellow out a “Cool!” And that’s the basis for their appeal. Just at higher-than-claw-machine prices.
It’s kind of hard to pick out a favorite. I’ve always loved the bright colors of Blowtorch, but I can’t say no to a good ninja. Roadblock has been a long-time favorite, and I love that they included Copperhead here, because he’s not who one would immediately think of as being in the upper echelon of Cobra. He’s maybe in the third tier, sitting comfortably at the same table as Wild Weasel, who I’d like to see in a future wave. Yes, I’m already making lists of who I want to see. Good grief, the sickness is strong.
The point is, there’s not a stinker in the bunch. Every figure is done extremely well, straddling a sincere faithfulness to the original character design while also keeping firmly within the style of the line, and their pint-sized nature means you can stick one in a pocket to whip out and fiddle with during that long business meeting. Bonus points if you’re the one who called the meeting.
Oh, and you also get file cards! It’s just not G.I. Joe without file cards, and luckily the folks at The Loyal Subjects took that into account. And this time, no cutting required.
