Hey, Funko. Hi. How are you doing? I wanted to reach out to you and ask you to do something. It’s just a little favor, and, no, I don’t want to borrow money or ask you to help me move. Don’t worry, it’s just you and me here, nobody else is reading. Seriously, with a title like that, I can guarantee that nobody else is reading.
So yeah, about that favor. I’ve been digging your various products, and I’ve found that I really really enjoy getting some of those Pop! Vinyl things you’ve got going on. I’m probably not going to be acquiring a huge collection of them, but I like getting these awesome little representations of things I dig. And I really like the variety.
It’s that variety thing I want to talk to you about.
There’s a certain Pop! Vinyl that I’d kill to see. It would fit under several different criteria you’ve got going on there. And it would fit in my personal criteria for “things that aren’t getting action figures but that I want a representation of on my shelf, because I dug it, this is a long sentence, work with me.” That’s why I’ve got Roger Rabbit’s vinyl, after all. Nobody seem interested in making a kick-butt Roger Rabbit toy line, even though some genius brought up the idea before.
I’ve got two words for you.
Just two.
Turbo-Teen.
I know, I know; you can’t believe you haven’t made it either. It’s ok. We all live with varying amounts of shame in our lives. I’m an ’80s kid and I’ve never seen Goonies, so I can pretty much never attend any of the reunions, and my membership button self-destructed years ago.
But If you think about it, a Pop Vinyl of Turbo-Teen would be pretty frickin’ nifty. You could even squeeze out a few versions. Maybe one version with just the tire hands, or maybe one with tire hands and his face all stretched out in that TREMENDOUSLY CREEPY just about to transform mode.
Yeah, I know, that is the creepiest thing ever. Seriously. I can’t even look at the fronts of cars because of that. I always walk around the back. I’m not even sure if I’m kidding or not.
Let’s be realistic: I’m never going to get a Turbo-Teen action figure. It’s not like a Transformer. There’s really no way to have a kid realistically turn into a car in action figure form without it being the lousiest action figure ever. And nobody wants to hear the complaints about how his passenger side door isn’t sculpted right, or that his chassis isn’t articulated correctly. Nobody wants to hear any of that at all. So that is a dream that has already died before getting voiced.
But a Pop Vinyl?
Yeah, that’s a completely different matter. I can definitely see that happen. I could even see it as one of those Mystery minis along with other forgotten, ignored or lambasted cartoon properties. I can’t be the only person that wants a Rubik’s Cube figure, can I?
I don’t need the answer to that. It will just cause my doctor to up my prescription again.
So do me a solid, Funko. Take a little chance on a property that has maybe two fans. I’m assuming the guy that thought it up probably likes it, so there has to be at least two people who would be into this.
I’ll even pretend we didn’t have this talk, and that the idea was all yours.
It’s a brilliant one, after all.
Turbo Teen Pop Vinyl: coming soon to a store near us all.
Hopefully.