We’re completing teams left and right here. X-this and Alpha-That (missing a few, arguably, but still). But the Marvel Universe is full of teams. So many that I can’t remember all of them unless I run across a random cover to a random comic and stop, raising an eyebrow until it hovers cartoon-like above my head.
“Wait,” I says out loud and yet to myself “We almost have this complete team.”
I’m standing in line at Starbucks when I say this. The barista then says “Did you say you want that with cream?”
“No, we almost have this complete team,” I said, waggling a picture that I printed out at home and then brought to Starbucks so I’d have something to talk about while standing in line.
“You’re getting cream.”
“I haven’t even ordered yet.”
“Look sir I am up to my elbows with half caff hoboinchinos here and you’re getting cream.”
“Well this is the best date I’ve been on in a few months.”
It kind of snuck up on me. Silver Sable’s Outlaws isn’t exactly a number on priority team for…well, for anyone. That’s not to besmirch the cool factor of this random conglomeration of characters. Nosirree, there’s no besmirching going on here. I’m not even sure I know how to besmirch. I think it’s all in the hips. Regardless, Look how frickin’ close we are to having Silver Sable’s Outlaws? We’ve got your standard issue Silver Sable, and following that up with Puma (they made Puma I love it so much) Sandman (too big) And Prowler. That’s like almost there.
So who does that leave? Two lone characters, both of whom are not completely out of the realm of possibilities in a line that looks like it’s doing a pretty good job of giving us some decent obscurities if they have the space for them.
First up, we have Will o’ the Wisp. Wispy is a creepy dude who can control his density much like the Vision, and is also super-strong, fast and creepy. I can’t stress how creepy he is enough. He’s also dressed all in green except for a ball of light on his chest. This is exactly the type of character that should pop up in any conversation that starts off with “We need a character that would require low-tooling.” If you look up Will o’ the Wisp in the dictionary you’ll see one of the definitions is “low-tooling.” It’s true. Go ahead and look it up. I’ll wait. Also, dictionaries used to be those books with a lot of words and terrible plots.
Will o’ the Wisp doesn’t make many top ten lists which of course means some smug and self-satisfied dink will call him an instant pegwarmer, like that’s a threat anymore.
Will o’ the Wisp, outside of being an integral member of the Outlaws, has been on my radar for years. He, like the Spot, seems like the kind of –and I’m going to repeat myself again—low-tooling dude that would make sense in some wave with some other costly figures.
Then we’ve got Rocket Racer, who is a dude on a rocket powered skateboard. He’s a bad guy turned good guy who can ollie to the moon. Ollie is a skateboarding term. I know it’s a skateboarding term because in middle school there were a lot of guys that were super into skateboarding and would talk about skateboarding so much that it made you almost want to try it out yourself, except for the fact that (A) you like your testicles on the outside of your body, and (B) you like your nose to stay in the middle of your face. I’m not saying I’d die the second I stepped on a skateboard, but I am saying that “death by ollie” isn’t just the title of a Laurel and Hardy snuff film.
In conclusion, if we could just get Rocket racer and Will o’ the Wisp we could put together a semi-obscure and yet kind of awesome little team, members of which I am super-glad to have.