Even with Solo: A Star Wars Movie filling up theaters everywhere, pop culture has not finished chewing over the highly controversial 8th Episode in the continuing Star Wars saga. The Last Jedi continues to provoke discussion whenever and wherever it is mentioned. I have no doubt it will continue to be a hotbed of discussion until the next installment.
I’ve already given a sample of my thoughts on the movie after a single viewing. I have since watched it a couple more times, and my appreciation for it has grown after each viewing. As a toy collector, my thoughts naturally turn to what kind of merchandise I would like to see from the things I like. While we have been fortunate enough to get a decent representation of most of the main characters from The Last Jedi, there are still a few holes left. A while back, Matthew K gave his thoughts on figures he’d like to see from the movie, and I’d like to add a few of my own to the discussion. In no order, they are:
Dobbu Scay
Pint sized Dobbu Scay took his gambling seriously. So seriously that when he saw a hole, he felt an immediate and hypnotic urge to fill it…with a coin. So when BB-8 came rolling along the Canto casino, Dobbu Scay shoved a coin in, hoping beyond hope that this time, this time out of all others, he would hit the jackpot. While I have a couple of BB-8 figures, I’m still missing a Dobbu Scay. I was absolutely amused that, while events were occurring elsewhere, this diminutive gambling addict was just standing there, shoving coins into our spherical companion, growing angrier and angrier. Not unlike us, the loyal Star Wars fans, who dump untold amounts of money into the franchise. Dobbu Scay = all of us? Maybe so. Maybe so.
The Real Master Codebreaker
As we all know, the infamous, nameless Benicio Del Toro character that has come to be referred to as “DJ” was not the codebreaker that Maz sent Rose and Finn to find. No, that dude, with his suave, James Bondian flair and Lando calrissian’s facial hair, was given a scant handful of seconds of screen time. But who was he? Why was he a master codebreaker? What was his story? Was he really the James Bond of a galaxy far, far away? What kind of ne-er do well shenanigans did this guy get up to in his spare time? Was he a good guy? A bad guy? Somewhere in the middle? Why did he and Jennifer Aniston split up? What sort of adventures did he and Maz have in the past? These are questions that will never be answered.
Thala-siren
One of the most important scenes in the Last jedi just happens to be one of the most controversial and heavily-memed. Here we have aged, island hermit Luke Skywalker, one-time hero of the galaxy, milking a strange seaside creature in order to provide himself with refreshing, body-temperature nourishment. Looking on, we have Rey, young, nubile, symmetrical of form, eager to be taught, yearning for somebody to teach her the ways of the force and the secrets of the Jedi. Luke just wants to go about his day, trying and failing to ignore the clingy young girl that is the only non-sister female he’s had cinematic contact with in any of these episodes outside of a clandestine peek at Mon Mothma’s sideboob.
But what young Rey doesn’t understand is that, as Luke goes about his day, he’s actually teaching her the lessons she needs to know to be a Jedi. Like, duh, Rey, you should have picked up on that. Despite that fact that he has walled himself off from the force, Luke is proving in his actions that the force is all about balance. The island provides for him. The seaside milk-maids, the beasts of the ocean, even the journey itself. Balance. Precision. Everything working in harmony. The Thala-siren does not begrudge Luke his needs, and neither does Luke find his own actions odd. There is harmony on that island. Harmony, much like that created by the sirens of myth, who called men to their doom. And who else but Luke is doomed. Doooomed. Ominous portent!
Shirtless Kylo Ren
In space, nobody can hear you lift, bro.
A truism: nobody poops in Star Wars. Nobody poops, nobody pees. But when two minds are linked by an outside force, traversing the galactic distances to unite, of course the timing is never going to be absolutely perfect. Here we have Kylo at the most vulnerable we will see him, and Rey’s intrusion into the moment humanizes them both. Kylo has absolutely no f***ks to give. This is his super-weird torso, and he doesn’t care that Rey is peeping on him. Look ye well upon the nipples of the grandson of Darth Vader, yon space-wench, and find yourself in awe of their spectacle.
Rey, to her credit, is mortified, beseeching him to cover up his trash-can shaped physique. It’s one thing to slash a man’s face with your lightsaber, but it’s another to see his perfectly square torso on full display, belly button obscured by the highest-waisted pants this side of a PTA meeting. If this was tinder, would Rey be force-swiping left or right?
Hospital gown Leia
Princess General Mistress Leia Organa Calgon Lemarchand Arrivederci Solo does not take shit from anyone. This has been well-established in Star Wars continuity, constantly and consistently putting anyone and everyone in their place with syllables so clipped they were found on the floor of a Supercuts. Everyone from Vader to Tarkin to Luke and Han Solo have felt the sting of her acidic tongue. And if you’re a hotshot flyboy who is jeopardizing everything because of your egotistical need to be a hero, Leia will climb her way out of a sick bed and trundle her way towards you to shove a blaster down your throat. Hospital gown Leia is a snapshot of just how much of a badass she is. Weak, damaged, hypothermic, even after being good and done been blowed up, she can still put you in your place, and will not hesitate to Leia hand across your cheek if you’re acting the fool.