Prevailing science is reaching something of a consensus that 65 million years ago, an asteroid struck near present-day Mexico, triggering the extinction event that purged nearly two-thirds of the life on earth, ending the age of dinosaurs.
So what the hell has happened in the last 15 years that keeps killing off any chance of good plastic ones?
Sorry. I know how cliche it is to spout off extinction snarks when talking about dinosaurs — even among “Uncle jokes,” those are some of the worst, but I wanted to get it out of the way early.
The next big hope of the Jurassic Park franchise is pending for the summer season, and as has become tradition, there are toys.
I guess. I remember being still young enough to be excited about the original Jurassic Park, with their “dino-skin” and “dino-damage” and so on, and, for their day, they were pretty damn cool.They were massive, scaled with most of the Kenner toys of the time, and had a full complement of vehicles and playsets to go with, even if some were recycled from elsewhere.
The new stuff is more just another sad entry in Hasbro’s efforts to shrink and simplify anything that doesn’t fit the “collector” lines. Two inch-ish figures, no scale between beasts or vehicles, and where the older toys eschewed articulation in favor of bendy-parts and rubbery skin, these have just enough to separate them from the PVC statues that are superior to them in every other way.
It has always struck me as odd just how few “action figure-types” of dinosaur toys we’ve seen. The animal kingdom has always been a little under-represented, but unless there’s a specific tie-in, lions, and gorillas maybe aren’t real high demands. But dinosaurs? what kid under the age of 60 doesn’t like dinosaurs?
There have been precious few. Before Resaurus became Plan B and broke my heart a second time, they did a dino line called The Carnage Collection. These were downright impressive, featuring lots of cut and pinned joints, great sculpts and some good paint application. I have two Velociraptors from this line, one I found at a UK toy shop, and another GrownNerd sent me some years back. If they had ball joints on the hips, that would basically be the definitive in dinosaur toys for me. They also did a Tyrannosaurus, a Stegosaurus, and I think a Protoceratops and Triceratops too. These toys show up again from time to time, under different banners — I think other people acquire the molds, run them, get told to cease, and then they end up elsewhere. The Velociraptors are a great size for 6-inch figures, maybe even a little big — you could always just fudge them in as Utahraptors.
Safari, Carnegie, Papo, NuoYa, and lots of others, have made massive collections of statue-type dinosaurs. Decades (literally) from the hard plastic ones I had as a kid, these have always been amazing-looking figurines, and have even incorporated some articulated parts. Just not enough for me. Playskool made these wonderful dino toys back in my day, with some great articulated figures with little poseable with cavemen and the like. I think the line was called “Definitely Dinosaurs,” or something along those lines. Imaginext is the spiritual equivalent of these guys, and they’ve even incorporated some Dino-Riders elements. The Dino Riders Tyco line, with beautiful articulated and some motorized base figures, were selected by the Smithsonian for a collection of their own, sold at giftshops and educational stores. And, yes, we need to talk about the incredible awesome that was Dino Riders, but we’ll do that another time.
In more recent years, outside of the fun but cartoony Imaginext ones, there’s been a few different Jurassic Park lines, one even including G.I. Joe figures, but the other major standout for me was the Walking With Dinosaurs 3d Deluxe Gorgon — A Tyrannosaur-family member done in good size and impressive articulation. For scaling with a 6-inch figure, for example, Gorosaurus is a little small but lines up pretty well — Tyrannosaurus Rex was a little bigger anyway.
Past that, though? Not very bloody much. You might find a decent Chap Mei set once a while, or a rehash Carnage one, but that’s really about it. Hell, I was always watching and hoping for a MOTUC Battle Raptor, but I’m pretty sure that’s out at this point. Even the import market has been a little soft — there was a Revoltech T-Rex. It was very cool looking, but it was tiny!
It’s a shame that one of the most successful species on the planet, and one of the most perennial toy lines for kinds of all ages, not to mention a major box office draw, doesn’t seem to warrant a great deal of effort on the part of modern toy companies.