Retro may be killing our culture. Reactionary? Perhaps. But we live in a time where innovation is costly and progress is rapidly being outpaced by nostalgia. Between vintage toys being reissued as high-end collector’s items and the ghetto of cheap 3 3/4-inch “retro-inspired” figures, this new focus on the old is draining much of the joy and excitement from the hobby. Now I know these are meant to be toys from a simpler time and all, but I take issue with that line of thinking when it leads to shoddy product. Just because something is retro doesn’t mean it’s earned the right to be cheap or expensive, or somehow immune to criticism. Toys are meant to be played with. Toys are meant to be fun. And yet, increasingly all the consumer gets from one of these “retro” purchases is a sense of betrayal at paying for something that already belonged to them to begin with. Here are five fallacies that drive the retro fad.
1. It’s not meant to be played with; it’s meant to be left on the card.
Yeah, not in my world. While I admire the willpower it must take to keep toys in the package, I’ve never been envious of it. I’m an opener, plain and simple. I wouldn’t buy a pizza and not eat it. I wouldn’t buy a bottle of rum and not drink it. Why would I buy a toy and not play with it? For me the experience is a tactile one; I need action in my action figures. But many of today’s nostalgia merchants are putting more thought into the package than the actual product. Selling nice card art where the figure is clearly an afterthought is all the rage, and thanks to the perceived “nostalgia” value and low price point, these fake toys have flooded the market recently. But don’t be fooled; something with five lousy points of articulation and no paint is just a knockoff masquerading as a memory.
2. Retro toys make great gifts!
In the Anthill, action figures are a gift for any occasion. Your brother-in-law, on the other hand, may feel kind of embarrassed when you give him a re-issued Lobot at the annual family Christmas gathering. Yeah, that may have been his favorite Star Wars figure when he was kid, but that doesn’t mean he’s been secretly pining for it for thirty years. Don’t “out” people who may have just shared a detail of their childhood with you in passing. Trust me, if your brother-in-law was that hung up on Lobot, he’d already have the figure.
3. They’re not for you.
Wow, really? They’re not for the generation that actually made them iconic in the first place? Okay, I’ll bite. Today’s “retro” toys are aimed squarely at people who weren’t even alive when those properties first debuted. They’ve been selected, vetted, and carefully crafted to absolve the consumer the burden of actually knowing anything but the merest of cultural iconography. “Oh, look, Mr. T. On a van. Ha ha ha.” When you think about it, collectors don’t want just anything with the A-Team on it. They want the toys they grew up with, and maybe a few peripheral items that fit their current lifestyle. Not every franchise deserves its own series of Hot Wheels cars, but you wouldn’t know it from the glut of unwanted product on the shelves
4. Today’s consumer demands a high-end product.
This is crap. As a member of several action figure boards I watched elation turn to disappointment when Diamond Select Toys released the price for their “Megoesque” Spider-Man reproduction. A toy that originally retailed for $2.49 was solicited for $80. Keep in mind, this isn’t one of those “super-sized” 18-inch figures. This is a single figure packed with two extra rubber heads, two additional cloth costumes and a handful of accessories. At that price it isn’t high-end as much as highway robbery.
5. People don’t like “new” things.
Its a sad fact, but people like whatever it is you sell them. The Avengers have been around for 50 years, but in spite of decades of comics, toys, and Saturday morning cartoons, its only since the new movie that Joe Blow knows (or cares) who Loki is. Few consumers bought a ticket based on nostalgia — they bough tickets because they’d never seen anything like The Avengers before. People are hungry for the next new thing, not reissued Welcome Back, Kotter figures. Sure, it may be possible to sell a handful of them, but most will end up landfill.
So what can we do? I chose to focus my collecting on actual vintage items. A patient and resourceful shopper can can find a mint condition Mego Spidey for $40, half of what the reissue costs. Join vintage toy groups on social media sites and get to know the members there. Sometimes you can make a trade easier than buying that hard-to-find item for cash. Watch the market. Having certain toys reissued can temporarily lessen the after-market value of some collectibles. Better to spend your hard-earned money on the real deal — people will always want an original over a repro. Thanks for reading!
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