“I trust my barber.”
J. Jonah Jameson was released in 2002 as part of Toy Biz’s Spider-Man movie tie-in. In retrospect it seems like an odd choice: sure, the publisher of The Daily Bugle had a fair share of screen time, and actor J.K. Simmons did an amazing job of bringing the crusty newspaperman to life, but the idea of producing what is essentially an old man at a desk as part of a mass-market toyline seems chancy, to say the least. If it had been Mattel producing the line we would have most likely seen a weirdly-colored repaint of movie Spidey packaged with an over-sized and goofy accessory in JJJ’s place, but Toy Biz chose the road less traveled, and Spider-Man fans are the richer for it.
Jameson’s sculpt is terrific. From his flattop to his patent leather shoes, the figure is remarkably true to the source material. Consulting pictures online for this article I was struck by just how many little movie-specific details are present here: the slightly-slack knot of the tie, the rumpled shirt and buttoned vest, and the detail work on the shoes show an impressive level of commitment to “getting it right.” Considering JJJ’s peripheral role in the first film, it’s almost puzzling as to why so much effort was invested in him. The figure is entirely new — there’s zero reuse here from previous figures, which in itself is remarkable. While it’s fashionable to knock Toy Biz these days, J Jonah Jameson shows just what the company could do when firing on all cylinders.
The use of new (at the time) RealScan imaging ensured that JJJ’s likeness was near-perfect. Unlike some sculpts that only look good from head-on, this portrait is accurate from every angle. Well, accurate enough, anyway — there may be some hardcore J.K. Simmons fans out there who would argue that point, but for the average action figure collector it’s just fine. As expected, JJJ’s head features a scowling expression — sure, we did see him smile once or twice, but that was far too frightening to immortalize in action figure form. Best to stick to his stock expression of barely-controlled rage.
With his brow furrowed and his mouth set, it’s clear that JJJ is one ticked-off individual. And while the movie de-emphasized his Fuhrer-esque moustache, it’s still close enough to pass muster as a comic version of the character. In addition to his butt-nuzzler, there’s nice feathering to JJJ’s flattop, with his characteristic “widow’s peak” and a swoop around his protruding ears.
As far as paint goes, my figure is pretty much perfect. Granted, he’s molded in his primary colors, but there’s more than just that going on. Details like the tie, the stripes on the shirt and the work on the eyes and hair are all top-notch for a mass-market figure. No, it’s not Hot Toys quality, for for ten bucks it’s damn good. There appears to be zero bleed or slop, another example of Toy Biz bringing it’s “A” game. I wish I had the Mary Jane Watson figure from this line to compare her with, as that figure is absolutely half-assed compared to JJJ. Guess Simmons had a better contract.
Jameson has all the articulation you need to sit at the editor-in-chief’s desk and then some. The ball-jointed neck offers the figure an impressive amount of movement: he can look down at the papers on his desk, look up to bark orders to his subordinates, as well as cast some pretty expressive sideways glances. The right shoulder is a ball-hinge while the left is pegged, a concession to the figure’s action feature.
The elbows are hinged and the wrists are pegged. JJJ has a swivel waist, pegged hips and hinged knees. Unlike his wall-crawling nemesis, Jameson can’t do splits or cartwheels but then again, he really doesn’t need to, so nothing feels absent. It’s what he can do that really puts this figure over the edge.
On the accessories front, Jameson comes with his office desk and chair. These work in tandem with the figure’s action feature, “desk-pounding action.” While I can’t remember whether he actually does this or not in the film, it’s perfectly in the spirit of the character. Work the lever on the figure’s back through the slots in the chair, push it down and the figure puts on an impressive display of temper. For added effect, the items on the desk are on loose pegs, so when JJJ pounds, everything on the surface rattles. It’s an inventive and character-specific way of working in the “essential” action feature: yes, there is a large white lever on the figure’s back as a result of this which may be a deal-breaker for some, but when JJJ’s in his chair you don’t even notice it.
J. Jonah Jameson is an unlikely icon. In these days of media buyouts and declining newspaper readership, he remains a stodgy, cigar-smoking representation of a once-glorious age. In spite of his extreme temper and lack of reason, you can’t help but love the guy. He may be bull-headed and stubborn, but he’s following his conscience and doing what he feels is right, which is really no different than Spider-Man. Call that what you will, but he sounds like a hero to me.
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