In the big “IF” of 6-inch G.I. Joes, there are a few things that are uncertainly certain. Just like multiple Luke Skywalker figures are guaranteed in any Star Wars line, you can bit your sweet bippy(?) that we’ll be getting more than one Snake Eyes. A lot more, if the 3 ¾ line is any indication. Snake Eyes is the most undoubtedly the most popular member of G.I. Joe, so if a Black Series type of line appears, he’s going to be appearing a lot. And I’m fine with that because I like him too. In fact, I won’t turn down any Snake Eyes figure they make. But if I had a chance to pick the versions I’d absolutely have to have, I think I can narrow it down to a decent assortment.
Commando Snake Eyes
The first Snake Eyes figure cemented the look: black uniform, mask, dangerous, mysterious. Chances are when the words “Snake Eyes” are muttered, children of the ’80s don’t think of a pair of dice; they instead think of either one of two different Snake Eyes uniforms. I waffle back and forth as to which is my favorite, but more often than not it seems like I rest on this one. He’s more military than ninja wearing this uniform, but is still in no way less dangerous because of it.
Sunbow Commando Snake Eyes
While that would make an excellent name for a band, this is just the cartoon version of the commando-styled Snake Eyes uniform. While it didn’t last long in animated form before being replaced by later versions, there was enough of a difference to warrant its own figure. While I will never need a 6-inch Joe line to be influenced by the cartoon, I can make an exception in this case. Just make him blue with ungloved hands and you’ve got a nice variant.
Ninja Snake Eyes
The second Snake Eyes figure kept the color scheme but made him sleeker, deadlier-looking, and transformed him fully into a ninja. Gone were the more overt militarisms in place of a sleek, skin-tight uniform befitting a ninja warrior. And much like the first figure, this one lends itself to an easy variant. Namely:
Sunbow Ninja Snake Eyes
Much like the Sunbow commando was just the first uniform in blue, the Sunbow ninja is the regular black Snake Eyes but in purple. Why was he purple? Maybe that was how black translated in animated form, like Batman’s cape being blue in the comics when it’s always just black. Who knows. But it’s enough of a tonal change that getting a variant purple version of his regular black would be a pretty cool nod to the cartoon. With those two, that would be pretty much all the cartoon versions I’d need. But not all the Snake Eyes I’d need.
Arctic Snake Eyes
Immortalized as a figure when the 25th anniversary line started, Arctic Snake Eyes was a one-time look from the second issue of the original comic. This was the issue that first introduced Eskimo mercenary Kwinn, another character who needs a couple of 6-inch figures — but that’s another article. But Snake Eyes in a parka is a cool visual that would require not only a Kwinn figure, but Arctic versions of the other members of G.I. Joe that were on the mission with him — hey, they sounds like a perfect box set for SDCC at some point. Or something like that. Regardless of the how, I want one.
Soldier Snake Eyes
Before Snake Eyes was scarred by a plume of hot vapor, he was just a regular soldier. Sure, he was still quiet, still enigmatic, and still damn good at what he did, but he wasn’t all spooky black-clad ninja assassin warrior soldier dude yet. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t interesting. In fact, we’re probably looking at another box set. Throw a soldier-era Snake Eyes in a box with Stalker, Tommy Arishikage (you know him better as Storm Shadow), and Wade Collins and you’ve got a good pre-G.I. Joe era grouping of badassitude.
Off-duty Snake Eyes
On a scale of likelihoods, this one is undoubtedly at the bottom, but as a hardcore Hama-lover, I have to include this. When Snake Eyes needed a rest from the endless war, he retreated to a solitary cabin in the woods, where he would hunt rabbits without a gun and watch the sun set with his pet wolf. Unfortunately, Destro and Firefly brought the war to him, and that cabin bit the proverbial dust. But even if this one is a thousand to one shot, it’s still a figure that I’d be more than happy to get.
Ninja-training Snake Eyes
Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow trained together, and during this training Snake Eyes wore a traditional ninja uniform much like that which Storm Shadow would later use in service of Cobra. It received a smaller figure, but a larger ninja-training Snake Eyes would be more than welcome. Offer it with a Hard Master, Soft Master, and a Storm Shadow without the Cobra sigil in an Arishikage training set and… well, I’d probably faint if something like that ever happened. Seriously.
Payne Brothers Snake Eyes
The who now? Well, this is just the V3 Snake Eyes; the one with the pair of butterfly swords across his chest. In the comic, this new costume was explained as parts of different uniforms worn by the Payne Brothers, who happened to be torturing Snake Eyes at the time. Well, he killed them because that’s what he did, and then he cobbled together a brand new uniform out of the dead men’s clothes. And apparently he kept on wearing it afterwards. I guess he liked the look. Hopefully he washed them. But this was a badass look that merged elements of his earlier commando look with elements of the ninja look to enhance all the awesomeness of each. It was a great look that wouldn’t last too long and would not make an appearance in the cartoon due to its being in a transitional stage between Sunbow and DIC.
Hockey Mask Snake Eyes
Probably the most controversial, this is the first figure that dumped the black. This is about as colorful as it gets for Snake Eyes. White and blue and that mask… this was wacky. It also served as the costume Snake Eyes wore during his very brief appearances in the DIC version of the Joe cartoon. Why was he wearing a hockey mask with red sunglasses? Who knows. But this is such a unique look for him that I’d have to have it.
While following his hockey mask uniform he continued on with a ton of figures, they didn’t offer much that was “new.” For me, if I could get these ten versions of Snake Eyes, I’d be happy. Of course, I wouldn’t turn down a battle-damaged version, but I’ll stop before it gets too nuts. I only need one perfect Stalker or Chuckles or Scarlett or Gung Ho, but apparently I need a lot of Snake Eyes in 6-inch form. And maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll have that chance.