Now that the dust has settled from SDCC ’14, we action figure collectors can sit back and reflect on the embarrassment of riches we can look forward to in the upcoming year. We’re getting toys from diverse new properties like Archer, Sons of Anarchy, and Acid Rain, as well as updated versions of classic lines like the Skeleton Warriors, TMNT, and Power Lords. Bandai S.H. Figuarts is providing us with a Luigi to go with our Mario, NECA is delivering a decent-looking 7-inch Michael Keaton Batman (in video game colors, alas), and we’re finally getting a Ripley to battle our Aliens. But for all of the toy love that was given so freely at SDCC, there’s one glaring omission, one absence that cannot be ignored. Of course, I’m talking about Archie.
Billed as “America’s Newest Boyfriend,” the character of Archie Andrews first appeared in Pep Comics #22, waaay back in December 1941. Sure, he looked and acted a bit different than the Archie the world knows today, but like all comic characters worth their salt, he grew and evolved with the times. Over the years he’s been a rock star, a social activist, a superhero… hey, the guy gets around.
The original Archie comic was created by Bob Montana and Vic Bloom, but soon other industry talents were adding their own elements to the book. Notable comic artists Harry Lucey, Samm Schwartz, and Dan DeCarlo all built on the original concept, tweaking the characters’ looks and attitudes to keep them in step with the times. In addition to the long-running comic series, the Archie gang have enjoyed live action and cartoon incarnations, as well as a daily newspaper strip. Hey, they even had a hit song!
With all of these accomplishments, Archie could have easily rested on his laurels, but the comics carried on. While the popular perception was that the property was perpetually stuck in the past, Archie and his pals continued to grow and evolve. Artists like Dan Parent worked to make the characters more contemporary, both in style and storytelling. The newer stories continued to push the boundaries, tackling social issues like prejudice and bigotry. Oh, yeah, and Archie met the Punisher. That was… weird.
With credentials like these, the obvious question is where are the Archie action figures? It’s not as if Arch would have to do all of the heavy lifting himself. After all, he has the most recognizable cast of characters this side of Batman. Even if they’ve never read a comic before, you can bet Joe or Jane Average knows who Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, and Jughead Jones are. These characters have transcended their 4-color origins, occupying a place in the American pop culture few other properties can lay claim to. And yet, our shelves remain Archie-less.
Considering there is 70 years of Riverdale history to work with, there are no shortage of characters to choose from. Personally, I would love to see classic versions of the Gang alongside their more modern incarnations.
ARCHIE ANDREWS
The Main Man. Archie has been the face of Riverdale for more than 70 years. This “average teen” is accident-prone and usually in trouble with adults, like the school principal Mister Weatherbee or Coach Kleats. He’s torn between the two loves of his life, in the form of the lovely but innocent Betty Cooper, or manipulative beauty Veronica Lodge.
BETTY COOPER
The yin to best friend Veronica’s yang, Betty is the classic girl next door. Sweet but temperamental, she has more than a passing obsession with Archie but never manages to hang onto him for long. Friendly, outgoing, and optimistic, Betty always manages to bounce back from heartache, emerging more dedicated than ever to her man.
VERONICA LODGE
Spoiled brat Veronica always gets what she wants… except when it comes to love. This poor little rich girl needs Archie all to herself, but she usually falls short of her goal due to her selfishness and greed. Oftentimes squired about by Archie’s rival Reggie Mantle, Ronnie is the very definition of mercurial, red hot one moment and ice cold the next.
JUGHEAD JONES
Archie’s best pal Jughead is always there to bail his buddy out of trouble. Unlike Arch, Jughead tends to steer clear of the girls, instead preferring the company of a nice, juicy hamburger. Known by his trademark crown beanie and his sarcastic wit, Jughead is always there when his friends need him. He can frequently be found mooching a malted down at Pop’s Chok’lit Shoppe.
REGGIE MANTLE
Egotistical and vain, jock Reggie Mantle is the bane of Archie’s existence. Constantly at odds with Arch, Reggie is always scheming to win Veronica’s attentions. A born practical joker, Reggie is usually up to something, but he is somehow always forgiven by the end. Think teenage Flash Thompson with black hair and a sense of humor, and you’ve got Reggie.
SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH
Sabrina was added to the Gang in the 1960s to add a touch of the esoteric to Riverdale, USA. A teenage witch with her own large cast of characters, she would hang out with the gang on occasion, helping them solve crimes or deal with magical issues. Known best for her live-action TV series, Sabrina the Teenage Witch remains a fan favorite and still occasionally appears alongside Archie and his pals in contemporary comics.
Obviously these characters are just the tip of the iceberg. The gang just isn’t complete without Big Moose, Midge, Big Ethel, and Dilton Doily. And lets not forget essential foils Mister Weatherbee, Mrs. Grundy, and Veronica’s father Mister Lodge. Oh, and there are the more modern additions to Riverdale like Nancy Wood, Midge Clump, and Kevin Keller. And then there’s Cheryl Blossom, Pops, Hotdog… I want ’em all!
So what do you say, readers? Am I crazy or do you also want to see the gang from Riverdale get the plastic treatment? Discuss on the Fwoosh forums!
Jason R Mink is the Man in the Anthill!
