He peg-warmed upon release and couldn’t be given away afterward. He’s been a staple of thrift stores, garage sales, and flea markets the world over. He’s the figure you never wanted but ended up with anyway, a bald-headed plastic misfit who somehow seemed to hate himself even more than you did. Trade him, sell him, throw him away — he will always return. Smiling. Always smiling…
DC Super Heroes was actually series two of ToyBiz’s successful Batman ’89 line of figures. ToyBiz reused old Kenner Super Powers tooling when it could, but this particular figure received a 100 percent dedicated sculpt. That’s right, instead of Man-Bat or Deathstroke or a dozen other characters who were huge at the time, ToyBiz went with…
No, not William Frawley, although I can see how you’d get that. This is, in fact, the one and only Lex Luthor. So when did Lex turn into a fat-headed oaf in a bad sports coat, you ask? Somewhere between the concept sketch and the first sculpt would be my best answer. The card art seems to think he’s Marvel’s Kingpin on a “thin” day, but the figure is pure Telly Savalas. Who loves ya, baby?
No one. No one loves ya, baby.
Because imitation in the sincerest form of flattery and Kenner, too, was busy making unwanted Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves figures to notice, ToyBiz gave their Super Powers-inspired figures character-specific action features. Robin karate-chopped. Flash ran. And Lex?
Epic, right? It explains the expression — I’d probably look like that too on a steady diet of self-inflicted haymakers. Still, it’s a brilliant tactical move: Lex repeatedly punching himself in the face in the middle of a battle would stop Superman dead in his tracks. He’d be so confused — it’s psychological warfare!
ToyBiz realized Lex’s punching action feature may have lacked a little oomph and decided to up the ante by giving him a kryptonite ring. Problem was, the figure was already sculpted. One thin band of cheap green paint later and problem solved! Superman will never see it coming!
As useful as his action feature was, Lex would seem incomplete without a few accessories. He came with a briefcase and a gun to throw at Superman. After all, shooting him never did any good — the gun is merely included as a flamboyant way for Lex to show his contempt for the Man of Steel. Think of it as the superhero version of the glove-slap.
Long after retail cancers Riddler and Aquaman were gone, Lex haunted the pegs, a grim reminder of a line long dead. You could find him everywhere; he and Mattel’s Secret Wars Kang made up a kind of Player’s Club for losers. It’s all that purple, I guess.
So what happened to the superior Super Powers version of Lex Luthor? Was ToyBiz unable to get the molds, or did they actually choose to do their own version of the Lex? Sadly, it’s now impossible to say. What we do know is that Super Powers Lex figures in good condition continue to sell for decent prices on the secondary market, while ToyBiz Lex figures account for a whopping 7.8 percent of the world’s total garbage, a startling fact we cannot ignore despite the fact I just made it up.
If you came here looking for a review, I’m sorry. This figure defies review — the criteria that we would ordinarily consider simply do not apply here. Instead of discussing the figure’s paint job (horrible), articulation (pitiful), and overall aesthetic (uh…), Lex must be judged on his own unique merits. The figure exists in a place beyond expectation, as a nonachievement somehow more recognizable than figures from more successful toy lines. I think of him as the Manos: The Hands of Fate of action figures: so bad you can’t believe what you’re seeing, yet you just can’t look away.
Fwoosher Devitciiu offers these final words on the subject: At one point, Toys R Us tried to turn this Lex Luthor figure into an impulse item by putting it beside the cashier with a bunch of candy at the low low price of 25 cents. It still didn’t sell. I once gave a friend a quarter and he opted for a gumball over punch-to-the-head Lex.
So it is written, so it is done.
Jason R Mink is the Man in the Anthill!