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24 Thoughts on Toys for Tuesday the 24th

Hey guys and gals, want a completely random article full of completely random thoughts! What luck! I have one for sale right here, dirt cheap and rarely used.

1 No company will ever make “my” perfect version of Superman. I’m at the point where I accept it. Mezco might have been my last shot, but it doesn’t look like it’s quite there. I don’t have much hope at a second attempt by them. I think NECA’s extremely delayed version might get close, but I’m not sure if that will ever come out. Oh well.

2 I will be buying all of Funko’s Disney Afternoon figures and I will secretly hope that this will open the door to a ton of other cartoon properties that might otherwise not get toys. While I’m usually a proponent of a bit more articulation and all that jazz, some concessions could be made. So what I’m saying is: Looney Tunes, Animaniacs and Tiny Toons. Please and thank you.

3 Storm Collectibles’ Zangief was 95 dollars. I paid it happily, and I haven’t played a Street fighter Game since the ’90s. What the hell? Stupid sexy toys.

4 You know that gigantic Toys Alliance Optimus Prime? You know the Megatron that will be in scale with it? I can stop at those two and be completely happy. Really. I will not buy any others they make in that size. They’re too expensive to start an entire collection of them at this scale and price. HE SAYS WITH NO CONFIDENCE.

5 Genuine lack of effs at what Bill Cosby has done in his personal life; I want some Fat Albert figures. Hell, I’d buy Cosby show figures. Including, but not limited to: Cockroach, Bud (my name’s Kevin!) and Voice of Panthro. And special guest star Dizzy Gillespie and Stevie Wonder.

6 The world is unjust because we have no figures from either the Magnificent Seven or Tombstone. What the literal angry ballsack do we have to do to get gunfighter figures? Whose mother do I have to make sweetly disappointing love to?

7 Hey, MAFEX or Figuarts: Yoda. He’s practically bite size, so give him a couple different headsculpts, a lightsaber, snake, bowl of disgusting food to serve Luke, and Frank Oz’s arm to shove up his backside. And by all that is green and talks weird, articulate him correctly.

8 I’m still waiting for a David Bowie action figure.

9 With the recent arrival of my Pile of Loot from BBTS, I now have my MotU holy grail: a yellow-green mini-comic Trap Jaw. Huge thanks to the Powercon people and Super7!

10 Speaking of weird Asian movies, (see my recent review of the figma Hentai Kamen figure) I’d love a Zebraman figure from Takashi Miike’s Zebraman series.

11 Can we expand that to an entire series of figures based on Miike’s movies?

12 NECA’s recent reveal of the Sackhead Jason brings me one step closer to my dream of having one version of Jason from each Friday the 13th movie.

13 In addition, I also would like the “Hell Jason” version from the recent Friday the 13th game. It was designed by Tom Savini and looks awesome.

14 Who else wants figures from the original Man From U.N.C.L.E. show? Anyone else?

15 This Figuarts Pirates of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow figure is cool and all, but it also makes me want a Figuarts Edward Scissorhands figure even more. Which makes me want a Figuarts Beetlejuice. Which makes me want a…wait, was I about to say I wanted a Figuarts Pee Wee Herman figure? I guess I was. Hm. Well, I was not the target audience for his show, but his movie is pretty damn entertaining. So, in summary, I apparently want a figure from every movie with a unique and toyetic main character. Okay then. Someone get on that.

16 I love these Marvel Revoltech figures and am pretty much all in, but it seems like the Revoltech joints used to be a lot sturdier. I remember trying to take one apart years ago and almost herniating myself. Now if you twist them, they start to separate a bit. Weird.

17 Dengar is getting a Star wars Black Series figure and everything is right with the world, at least until the palpable absence of Lobot becomes too much to bear.

18 The BB units that Figuarts is releasing in those sets are essentially balls wearing hats but I want them all. Yes, I bought the Phasma and Trooper just for BB-9E. I mean, the figures were nice, but if I’m being completely honest …

19 I wasn’t going to build the MCU Vulture figure, because it wasn’t comic vulture, and I can’t seem to shake the occasional tendencies towards snobbery. But, having just watched the movie (in 4k bitches, bow before my technological awesomeness), I’m glad I did, because Michael F***ing Keaton, and I’m glad he was made. Good crap, I’m happy to have movie figures in a Marvel Legends line. I don’t recognize myself anymore …

20 Kind of wishing David Hasselhoff got a figure in the Guardians of the Galaxy line.

21 Occasionally I realize how much I miss the days of original toy properties that dictate the media that springs from them, and that those days might be all but over except for a few very unique instances. Which reminds me, (and this is all Veebee’s fault) go buy the Putrid Power Grossery Gang figures, because they’re inexpensive and they’re awesome, and remind me of a different time.

22 So the only Lockjaw figure I own is a Pop! Vinyl one. HOW CAN THIS BE?

23 The Dark Crystal reaction figures might be the most satisfying yet finite set of figures I’ve bought in quite a while. Did you know there’s an official sequel coming out in comic book form very soon? I know!

And, finally,

24 With the recent scuttlebut that Super7 might be trying to renegotiate the Thundercats license, I will hesitantly allow the universe to sustain a glimmer of hope in my cold and ashen heart for just a little while. I’m not officially getting my hopes up, but I’m entertaining the notion of possibly allowing myself the chance to hope. Tentatively. Gingerly. Like walking across an iced-over pond full of piranhas and sharks and piranha-shooting shark-bazookas. And cracks are starting to spread. And it’s getting warmer.

So yeah.