With just six slots in Mattel’s upcoming Filmation subscription, there’s not much room for everybody to get what they want. With the wide variety of one-shot characters introduced over the lifespan of the classic ’80s cartoon, you have to choose wisely to keep the fans happy and to insure repeat business.
One character, however, rises above all others as absolutely necessary to the line, to toydom, and to humanity as a whole.
His name is Plundor. Plundor the Spoiler. The following are the top-five reasons that Plundor is the only sane choice to fill one of the remaining Filmation club slots:
Reason the first: It’s a big pink bunny.
I’ll assume there are some philistines out there that think a big evil pink bunny doesn’t fit into the wild and wacked-out world of MotU. I won’t be inviting those people to Thanksgiving dinner, but they’re free to have their opinion, however wrong it may be. But to me, nothing fits in more with beast men, mer men, snake men, elephant men, and lion Men than a bunny man. And screw Snakes — bunnies are evil. Did you ever really trust the Easter Bunny when you were a kid? At least Santa had the decency to come down the chimney, leave some presents at the tree, and leave. But the Easter Bunny? The dude was in your room with a basket of candy, watching you sleep. You know who else tries to give you candy? Men in white vans that troll elementary schools, that’s who.
Yeah. Plundor is a bunch of shades of pink unrightness.
Reason the second: Huge cult following.
Love him or hate him, there’s no doubt the people want him. Well, some people. But it’s a vocal people of impeccable taste. We all know the unstoppable juggernaut that lies behind cult characters. And we also know that these vocal minorities always, always get what they want, because they don’t EVER quit. EVER. They will post and post and post; they will form organizations, they will write letters and e-mails and create youtube videos and send in pieces of their own skin. Do I need to introduce you to the Ice-Cream Maker Man? I think not!
Reason the third: Bunnies are popular
I don’t have to introduce you to a certain man named Bugs to prove that bunnies are cool. In addition to Mr. B. Bunny himself, there’s plenty of popular members of the rabbit family that prove that nobody except for dentist’s kids need be ashamed of buck teeth. The list of bunny characters goes on for as many as I can think of to list in this space.
Nestle Quick Bunny.
Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.
…and so forth. You get my point. Bunnies are everywhere. It’s all the sex they have.
Reason the fourth: He’d look awesome as a toy.
The 4 Horsemen have done some kickass interpretations of cartoon media-only properties that have never had a toy before; look at Shadow Weaver, Fang Man, or the upcoming Shakoti, or Icer. Even people who stubbornly flex their upper lip and proclaim “I’d never buy no stupid pink bunny” would be crying themselves to sleep after seeing the first proto shot of Plundor. He wouldn’t require much extra tooling either, so he’d be economical, and we know Mattel likes to save a buck or two here or there. That extra money could be plopped into Modulok! It works exactly like that.
Reason the fifth: He’s actually more of a badass than Skeletor
So you’re not convinced yet. What place does a fluffy bunny have in your MotU world, you ask? What the hell am I smoking/drinking/snorting/injecting/inserting, you ask? Well, these are all highly personal questions, but I’ll answer anyway.
Skeletor’s a bastard, but he’s usually only concerned with breaking into Castle Grayskull, gaining power, and subjugating the masses, and all that. But while Skeletor attempted that stuff, Plundor was busy polluting an entire planet! Trying to take a world over is one thing, but making the air unbreathable and the water undrinkable? That’s harsh. He’s like the Anti-Al Gore, which is exactly what I think about when I see a big pink bunny. That and Al Gore with a goatee.
So yeah, consider those reasons, and pine for Plundor the Spoiler!